i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
