yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
