I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize