we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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