if you like me you must not know who I am
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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