Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
this will be a night to untag.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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