He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
