Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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