I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
