I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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