ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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