Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
