Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
