I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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