He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You're like the curious george of whores
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
