WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Two words: nipple clamps
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