I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
