Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The Olympian is in my bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
