What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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