break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
