Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
