I looked at my own cervix.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
