getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
