Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
