I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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