How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
