Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
