Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
