How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
