the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
