I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
