i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
