I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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