I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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