Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
