i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As shirtless as possible
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
