i don't like sucking hair
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
this is an emotional support booty call
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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