Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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