I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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