Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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