There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
