On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
