I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
