I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this just has baby written all over it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
