Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
