Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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