I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
