Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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