the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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