so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
