Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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